Seeking Constant Reassurance: How Freelancers and Remote Workers Can Build Confidence and Trust

Why Freelancers and Remote Workers Ask for Reassurance

Freelancers and remote workers often operate in isolated environments where feedback isn’t immediate, and this uncertainty can lead to self-doubt. Here are some common reasons why they might ask for reassurance:

1. Lack of Immediate Feedback

In an office setting, you can get quick feedback on your work, but freelancers and remote workers might have to wait hours or days for a response. This delay can lead to questions like, “Did I do this right?” or “Are you happy with the work?”

2. Fear of Losing Clients

Freelancers rely on building strong relationships with clients to secure ongoing work. The fear of disappointing a client or losing a project can drive them to constantly check in, asking, “Is everything okay with the project?” or “Should I make any changes?”

3. Overthinking Due to Isolation

Without regular interaction, freelancers and remote workers can overthink situations. When you’re alone all day, it’s easy to question your performance or relationships, leading to questions like, “Are we still on the same page?” or “Did I do something wrong?”

4. Insecurity About Skills

Freelancers may doubt their abilities, especially if they’re new to freelancing or working in a competitive field. This can manifest in constant questions like, “Is this what you wanted?” or “Did I meet your expectations?”

How Seeking Constant Reassurance Affects Your Work

While asking for confirmation now and then is normal, constantly doing so can have negative effects, especially in the freelance or remote working world:

• Reduces Client Confidence: If you constantly ask for reassurance, clients may start to doubt your ability to work independently, affecting their trust in you.

• Damages Your Professional Image: Freelancers are hired for their expertise and independence. If you regularly need confirmation, it can make you appear less capable and self-sufficient.

• Impacts Productivity: Constantly checking in for feedback or validation can slow down your work. Instead of moving forward with tasks, you may spend too much time waiting for approval or second-guessing your decisions.

How to Build Confidence and Reduce the Need for Reassurance

If you find yourself constantly seeking reassurance, here are some steps to help build your confidence and reduce the need for external validation:

1. Set Clear Expectations with Clients

One way to avoid the need for constant reassurance is to set clear expectations at the beginning of any project. Agree on deadlines, deliverables, and communication channels so that you know exactly what the client expects, and you don’t have to check in as often.

• Tip: After discussing project details with a client, summarize the conversation in an email to ensure both parties are on the same page. This reduces misunderstandings and the need for frequent check-ins.

2. Schedule Regular Check-Ins

If you’re working on a long-term project, schedule regular check-ins with your client. These planned meetings allow you to provide updates and receive feedback without having to ask for reassurance constantly.

• Tip: Instead of sending multiple emails for confirmation, set up a weekly or bi-weekly check-in where you can discuss progress and any adjustments needed.

3. Trust Your Experience and Skills

Remind yourself why you’re freelancing or working remotely — because you’re good at what you do! Clients hired you for your skills and expertise, so trust in your abilities. Reflect on past successes and positive feedback to boost your confidence.

• Tip: Keep a folder with client testimonials, successful projects, or positive feedback. Review it whenever you need a confidence boost.

4. Practice Self-Validation

Instead of always seeking external validation, practice self-validation. After completing a task, take a moment to review your work and acknowledge what you did well. This builds internal confidence and reduces the need to ask for reassurance from clients.

• Example: After finishing a project, tell yourself, “I’ve met the client’s requirements, and I’m confident in the quality of my work.”

5. Set Boundaries with Reassurance Seeking

Give yourself a limit on how often you seek reassurance. For example, only ask for confirmation once per project phase or milestone. This forces you to trust your abilities and make decisions independently.

• Tip: If you feel the need to ask for reassurance, pause and ask yourself, “What evidence do I have that something is wrong?” Often, your fears are unfounded.

6. Improve Communication Skills

Clear communication can prevent misunderstandings and reduce the need for reassurance. Be clear in your emails and messages so that both you and your clients understand the expectations.

• Tip: When delivering a project, provide a summary of what you’ve done and how it meets the client’s requirements. This reduces the need for follow-up clarification and reassures the client without you having to ask.

For Clients: How to Support Freelancers Without Reinforcing the Need for Reassurance

If you’re a client working with freelancers or remote workers who frequently ask for reassurance, here’s how you can support them:

• Provide Regular Feedback: Offering regular feedback can help reduce the freelancer’s anxiety about their performance.

• Encourage Confidence: Remind them of their past successes and that you trust their abilities to complete the task independently.

• Set Clear Boundaries: If constant check-ins are becoming overwhelming, gently set boundaries, like agreeing on when and how feedback will be provided.

Conclusion: Building Confidence as a Freelancer or Remote Worker

Seeking reassurance is common among freelancers and remote workers, especially when working alone or without immediate feedback. However, by setting clear expectations, practicing self-validation, and improving communication, you can reduce the need for constant reassurance and build greater confidence in your abilities. Remember, you were hired for your skills and expertise — trust in yourself and your work.

References

Campbell, W. K., & Miller, J. D. (2011). The handbook of narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder: Theoretical approaches, empirical findings, and treatments. John Wiley & Sons.

Smith, M., & Segal, J. (2020). Building self-confidence. HelpGuide. Retrieved from https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/building-self-confidence.htm