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Freelancer? Forgot How to Small Talk? Reconnect with Ease

As a freelancer, you may spend most of your time working alone. While the freedom is great, it can also mean less face-to-face conversation. Over time, you might feel like you've forgotten how to make small talk. If social situations now feel awkward or stressful, you’re not alone. The good news is, small talk is a skill you can rebuild—one step at a time.

PSYCHOLOGY INSIGHTS

11/24/20242 min read

Why Does Small Talk Feel Hard?

When you work alone, you lose regular practice with everyday conversations. Freelancers often communicate through emails or chats, which are short and to the point. Without casual interactions, small talk can feel unnatural.

Research shows that small talk is important for happiness and feeling connected to others (Sandstrom & Dunn, 2014). If you haven’t practiced it in a while, it’s normal to feel unsure or anxious about what to say.

Why Connection Matters

Feeling isolated can make you anxious, stressed, or even lonely. Small talk may seem unimportant, but it’s a powerful way to build small connections that make you feel part of something bigger. It’s not about saying the perfect thing—it’s about being present and showing interest in others.

How to Relearn Small Talk

You don’t need to be a master conversationalist. Start with small, simple steps to feel more confident.

1. Start with Easy Questions

When you’re unsure what to say, keep it simple. Try:

"How’s your day going?"
"What have you been working on lately?" Questions like these are easy to ask and show you’re interested.

2. Practice with Brief Interactions

Short conversations help rebuild confidence. Try:

Talking to a barista or cashier while grabbing coffee.
Saying hi to neighbors or delivery drivers.
Commenting on the weather or something happening nearby.

These moments might seem small, but they build social skills over time.

3. Listen More, Talk Less

Good small talk isn’t about saying a lot—it’s about listening. Pay attention to what the other person says and respond thoughtfully. For example:

If someone mentions their weekend plans, say, "That sounds fun! What are you looking forward to the most?"
Reflect back their thoughts: "That must have been exciting!" or "That sounds challenging."

4. Use Shared Topics

In work settings, talk about something you both understand. For example:

"What kind of freelance work do you enjoy the most?"
"Have you been keeping up with [industry trend or news]?"

Shared interests make conversations feel natural and easy.

5. Don’t Fear Silence

It’s okay if there’s a pause in the conversation. Instead of rushing to fill the silence, take a moment to relax. Pauses often allow both you and the other person time to think.

Why Small Talk Is Worth It

Even short conversations can make you feel more connected. Research shows that small talk helps people feel happier and less lonely (Epley & Schroeder, 2014). As a freelancer, small talk isn’t just about being polite—it’s a way to feel part of a community.

Take It Slow

Relearning small talk takes time, and that’s okay. Start with simple steps like saying hello to a barista or asking a friend about their day. The more you practice, the easier it will become. With time, small talk will feel less like a chore and more like an enjoyable way to connect.

References

Sandstrom, G. M., & Dunn, E. W. (2014). Is efficiency overrated? Minimal social interactions lead to belonging and positive affect. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 5(4), 436-443. Retrieved from https://doi.org/10.1177/1948550613502990.
Epley, N., & Schroeder, J. (2014). Mistakenly seeking solitude. Journal of Experimental